Thursday, March 05, 2009

Celebrating the Hero in You at BASS

Public Heroes

On January 15, 2009, US Airways Flight 1549 ran into a large flock
of birds shortly after taking off. Both engines became
non-functioning. Instead of attempting to fly and land at other
airports, pilot Chesley Sullenberger III told the passengers to
"brace for impact" and carried out emergency water landing on the
Hudson River.

Sully (as his friends called him) saved the lives of 155 people. He
became an International hero and miracle worker. He and his
co-pilot and the whole crew were praised for their heroic efforts.
I was most touched when I read about how Sully was the last person
who got off the plane! (He walked down the aisles to make sure
everyone was out.) Afterwards, someone commented, "He had saved
everybody and was behaving like it was just another day at the
offiice."

Private Heroes

Not everyone gets such high profile recognition for heroic acts. On
February 17, I watched "Meeting Mia: The Story Behind a Remarkable
Recovery from Trauma" and I thought about people who save kids
directly or indirectly.

As a little girl, Mia was sexually abused by her birth father and
abandoned by her birth mother. She was rescued only after her
younger sister was killed by their birth father. Her foster parents
found her crying and screaming 12 out of 24 hours a day, and she
was biting and scratching people. But instead of getting rid of
her, Mia's foster parents adopted her and took her to psychotherapy
in San Francisco.

It was not easy but Mia recovered with a lot of love and help! Once
unable to trust anyone, she grew up to be a self-assured and warm
teenager. Once afraid of everyone, she is now surrounded by
friends. She graduated from high school and is attending college.
Her goal is to become a kindergarten teacher.

God Will Make a Way

Mia is telling her story publicly so that other little kids could
be saved. I could not stop my tears when I heard about her turning
point of recovery. When taken to visit the grave of her sister, Mia
said this to the baby, "You died that I got to live."

Although some people called Mia a "throwaway" saying she was "too
damaged," her foster parents and her psychiatrist (Dr. Lenore Terr)
never gave up on her. Most importantly, Mia did not give up on
herself. She is not perfect and she knows, "I'm still a work in
progress!"

Mia's story reminded me of my earliest clients at a Christian
residential recovery facility for women. They were predominately
African Americans and Hispanic/Latino Americans. Most never
graduated from high school. Many were on welfare and have little
kids under the age of five. They were recovering drug addicts,
alcoholics, and former inmates. Other than being women and
mothers, it seemed we had nothing in common.

I was completely out of my comfort zone when I serve there as a
counseling trainee the year before graduating from seminary. I felt
inadequate from the beginning. During our first group gathering, we
took turn introducing ourselves. At some point, someone asked, "So,
what is YOUR drug of choice?" "Um. Um. I used to be a workaholic."

She rolled her eyes and said, "but work does not alter your brain."
(Later, I learned that habitual behavioral addiction could produce
chemical that affects brain functioning.) That night, I wrote in my
journal, "O Lord, what am I going to do? I don't know what to do!"

The Lord gently reminded me that I could do nothing away from Him.
May be my issues were inconsequential comparing to troubles of
these ladies. May be I had lived a privileged life. But even with
my mother's love, protection and encouragement, I was subjected to
gender discrimination, abandonment, betrayal, and traumatic losses.

With prayers, Bible reading, supervision, peer support, and
continuous learning, the yearlong practicum stretched my thinking
and helped me grow in awareness, knowledge and skills. Week after
week, I listened to the sufferings, pains and confusions during
individual and/or group therapy. I learned to empathize with their
struggles, accepting that they did not want to be on welfare or on
drugs in the first place. Listening to dreams and obstacles, I
discovered how wrong I was to think that everyone could control her
destiny. I could not help everyone, but I watched some of them
blossom in that structured environment. They were changing their
attitudes, remaining clean and sober, getting their G.E.D.,
practicing new life skills in their shared apartments, and finding
jobs.

Heroes in Ministry at the BASS Convention

Trying something new always stirs up my insecurity. A few years
before counseling those ladies, I started teaching children Sunday
school at church. After working with High tech professionals for a
long time, I felt inadequate teaching kids. In 1992, I started
attending BASS Church Workers Convention. It was the first time I
worshiped with people from all nations as one body of Christ. The
experience opened my eyes to the needs and resources of the global
church, and I have been attending BASS ever since.

The 46th Annual BASS Convention will be held on March 5th to 7th in
Castro Valley. The theme of the 2009 convention is "Heroes in
Ministry." The speakers for general sessions are Henry Cloud
(Thursday), Sherwood Carthen (Friday) and Jack Hayford (Saturday).
There will be hundreds of workshops in various categories. Details
can be found at their website at http://bassconvention.org

Here is a quote from their welcoming page: "Our leadership team
chose the theme 'Heroes in Ministry' to celebrate and encourage the
volunteers and paid ministers who truly are heroic in their service
to the local church. It is our mission at BASS to minister to you
as you get ready for another season of ministry to the church. As
fellow ministers, we understand that you definitely do not see
yourself as 'heroes' or 'heroic' at all, but you are! You are
people to be appreciated, prayed for, celebrated and even
applauded. Your sense of service and selflessness, as well as
humility and dedication is what God uses to grow healthy churches."

You Are God's Masterpiece!

Most of us would not call ourselves heroes. A family friend said
being called a hero isn't likely to please Sully neither. "Sure,
he's a hero, but he's also a humble man."

Before you wash off the theme of BASS, I want you to remember that
Sully was interested in flying at a young age and he followed his
passion. He studied and continued to learn and refine his knowledge
and skills. He had 40 years of experience in flying. He became an
International safety expert and an accident investigator before
January 15th. That once-in-a-lifetime situation with flight 1549
exposed who he was as a pilot.

How about you? May be you are "only" serving at church in some
"small" matters. May be your service is carried out mostly at home,
at school, or in the workplace. Whether you are recognized by
people or not, if you have been serving faithfully out of your love
for God and people, the BASS convention is for you!

The Bible told us that God saved us for a purpose. God uses all
kind of circumstances to mold us into a person after His own heart.
Whether you feel it or not, you are the workmanship (i.e.
masterpiece) in the Master's hands.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not
from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no
one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ
Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to
do." (Ephesians 2:8-10)

Be Still and Know Who Is in Control

In their book, "How People Grow -- What the Bible Reveals About
Personal Growth," Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend reminded us
that God is the source and Creator, God has control of the world,
God was the judge of life, and God designed life and its rules. I
paraphrase one of their concepts this way:

Admitting the sovereignty of God and our humanness will return us
to our roles as God originally created us. True freedom comes when
we depend on God, believing that we are the creation and cannot
exist unto ourselves. Instead of trying to control the world and
other people, we focus on personal responsibility and self-control.
As a result, we are free to experience life by obeying God's rules
and living the life God designed.

I know these facts and I believe in them, but sometimes I still
like control, like signing up for new opportunities. This year, I
have already tried many new things, like giving a teleconference on
"Cancer Patients and Depression" and teaching a course on
"Multi-Cultural Counseling" at a Christian University.

These new projects and other unexpected events (e.g. Jury Duty)
took away Mondays that I set aside for Sabbath. I did not recognize
the danger of getting out of balance. My body geared up to handle
my challenges and stressors. Running high on adrenaline, I was
energized to do all these work and I just kept on going.

On Wednesday, February 18th, I had many things to do, including
picking up a sister for fellowship in the morning, visiting James'
eye doctor in the afternoon, attending prayer meeting at night, and
grading student homework in my spare time. Although we knew
James' right eye would probably lose his central vision, I was still
shocked when I saw the OCT scan charts of his right and left eye,
side by side.

As if these stressors were not enough, our phone rang as we were
leaving for prayer meeting. An elderly brother passed away that
afternoon, and his widow told us that the mortuary told them chapel
service and burial were only available at 1 p.m. on Friday. We
visited the widow and their grown children after prayer meeting. As
James was taking notes, my mind was overwhelmed as I thought about
all my commitments!

To make the long story short, there were hours on Thursday early
morning, Thursday afternoon, and Saturday morning that I experienced
symptoms of panic attacks (e.g. shortness of breath, terrible
dizziness and vomiting). I had the same feelings of doom twice
before. One time was a few weeks after our son went to college in
September 2001 (remember 9/11?); another time was a few days
before James' left eye surgery.

I could not get up without throwing up. It was blessing in
disguise. All I could do was to pray in bed. The Lord comforted me
with, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10) and I was
filled with His peace.

Courage to Learn and Grow

As I slowed down and recuperated, the Lord restored my health and
wellness. One day at a time, I was able to finish the things I
wanted to do, including writing this newsletter.

Learning and growing are risky. I'm very excited about BASS,
especially about having the chance of listening to Dr. Henry Cloud
(who wrote one of my favorite books "How People Grow") and Rev.
Jack Hayford (who wrote one of my favorite songs "Majesty").

By the grace of God, I have had the privilege and honor to lead
workshops at BASS in the last few years. You may read more from
their website but here are my workshops for teachers, parents and
couples on March 6th and 7th.

1. "Help! Nobody is Listening!" (in English)
-- Room D1, Friday 9:00 to 10:15 AM

2. "Teaching Kids Through Emotional Ups and Downs" (in Cantonese)
-- Room N10, Saturday 8:00 to 9:15 AM

3. "Help! Nobody Is Listening!" (in Mandarin)
-- Room N10, Saturday 12:45 to 2:00 PM

4. "Making Your Good Marriage Great" (in Mandarin)
-- Room N10, Saturday 3:45 to 5:00 PM

These subject matters are dearest to my heart as they lay the
foundation of helping our next generation. I hope you can join me
and tell a friend.

copyright © 2005-2009 Winnis Chiang, Parenting ABC, all rights reserved.