When Life Seems So Out-of-Control

Is your life affected by Hurricane Sandy? Even if you live in the West Coast, I'm sure you directly or indirectly know someone in East Coast. Both James and I have relatives and friends in New York and New Jersey.

What could we do? We called. We wrote e-mails. We prayed. We waited. Then slowly but surely, we got in touch.

My brother left voice message, "Hi sis, we're okay but power is out."
James' sister and brother-in-law sent e-mail with same message.
Another sister in San Francisco shared, "my daughter texted 'alive' to me."

Simple words. But we were relieved that our loved ones are safe!

Life is more than surviving from day to day, when one need is met, we move to another. First we worry about physical safety, then we want electricity and gas. But when people are suffering, it is not the time to lecture them saying, "Don't be angry, ... Don't take things for granted, ... you should be grateful to be alive!"

I thought of the time that I was depressed when James could not understand my suffering and pain. Yes we had achieved the American dream, but I was dying inside and nobody knew. How I needed a miracle to start all over again.

Because of my experience, I have learned to not rush to judgment when people are devastated and are in despair. I am careful not to add insults to injury when others are suffering beyond my imagination. But sometimes, out of my own anxiety, I tried too hard to help. Did that ever happen to you too?

It saddened me to know even with the best intention, sometimes we could actually hurt people unknowingly when we were trying to help. What can I do? When I get anxious about not being able to help, I remind myself that I am just a fellow human being. Only our Lord Jesus is the Savior. So I stop. So I slow down, pray, and wait.

Amazingly, even people I thought I could not help were indeed helped, directly or indirectly! As Christians, we need to live out our new life with grace and truth. Over time, our God who is loving and faithful, will bring hope, help and healing through people who are willing to be used by Him to bless others. The word of God helps me to put things in perspective.

"These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." (1 Corinthians 10:11-13)

All families face pressure. For couples who have immigrated to the United States, there are additional cultural, language, and other factors that affect their family interactions. Are you facing parenting and/or marital issues? I would like to invite you to Sunday workshops in Los Altos and San Jose area. I'm the speaker for both events.

Workshop #1 in Mandarin
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Parenting ABC - How to help your kids become matured independent adults
6:00 to 7:15 p.m. Sunday, November 4, 2012
Bridges Community Church (Family Center)
625 Magdalena Avenue, Los Altos, CA 94024
Free. No registration required.

Workshop #2 in Cantonese
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Making Your Good Marriage Great!
2-4 p.m. Sunday, November 18, 2012
Friendship Agape Church
5150 Camden Avenue, San Jose, CA 95124
Free. Register online at friendshipagape.com/great.htm

Our relatives and friends survived Hurricane Sandy. But not everyone is so lucky, and our hearts and prayers go to everyone who is suffering. If you want me to pray for someone you are worrying about (whether it is relating to the recent storm or not), please e-mail me. Even though I may not have time to reply to every e-mail, I will pray!

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Want to reprint this article? No problem! Just make sure you include a complete attribution and, whenever possible, a live link to our website. Please notify Winnis where and when the material will appear. The attribution should include this information:

Winnis Chiang, LMFT and Founder of ParentingABC.com, specializes in helping Mandarin- and Cantonese-speaking high-tech Christian parents to get along with, enjoy, influence and equip their American-born Chinese children.