Heart to Heart with Our Children

Mother and child have special bond by the design of God. Unfortunately, life circumstances and other things could distract us from the most wonderful heart to heart connection with our children. On this verge of mother’s day, I want to share some experiences I had in common with our son, and urge you that it is never too late to create loving connections.

The following is from my Chinese article that was published in the March, 2011 edition of《EFC Journal》called “Receive, Enjoy and Feel Him.”

"Mom, let me read something to you, okay?"

Although feeling feebly, I nodded. My son placed two pillows under my head before flipping through my bedside books and newspapers. Finally he picked up the only book written in Chinese and English – my devotional. Leafing through, he cleared his throat and began to read.

Mother and Son Worshipping Together

That was summer of 2003, two days after I had a major surgery. I was lying in my hospital bed, dealing with pains on my wounds, feeling weak and worrying about my recovery. I watched my dear son with half-opened eyes.

As he read one article after another, my heart gradually became calm and still. His strong baritone voice carrying comforting words of God filled my heart with warmth and sweetness. I thought, “My son has really grown up. He just finished the second year of college. It is really special that he came home to help Dad and me to move into our down-sized apartment. And now, he is taking turns with Dad to take care of me in the hospital. With a child like this, what else could I want?”

Suddenly, he grinned: “Hey Mom, here is another article quoting Psalm 46 verse 10.”

He began to read, and I got very excited, “Do you know we could sing this verse?”

As he was still nodding, I cannot wait to start singing, “Be still and know that I am God.”

Spontaneously he accompanied me at the second and third stanza. “Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that I am God.”

We sang the song over and over again in English. As we worshipped God in the hospital ward, we received the truth of God, enjoyed His presence, and experienced His great love.

For the next few weeks, I rested at home. During the fifth week of my recovery, my son and I joined more than one hundred people to practice singing Handel’s “Messiah” in the CCCMIW (i.e. Chinese Christian Church Music Institute for Worship) choir conducted by Dr. Richard Lin. We practiced from early morning to evening. I felt so tired the first day that I had to go home early with my neighbor when my son stayed after dinner for more practice.

As one of only two or three American-born Chinese in the choir, my son had no problem reading music, but found the Chinese text very difficult. He wanted to give up several times. Dad and us prayed to God together. Finally, my husband read the characters one by one and let our son wrote down the phonetic symbols. This way, he could still practice his Mandarin during lunch breaks, learning from this Cantonese speaking mother. Thank God that after a week of practice, his Mandarin and my health both improved greatly. Finally we sang with the choir in St. Mary's Cathedral, San Francisco. Hallelujah. Praise the Lord!

Learning in the Choir

I have always liked to sing, but after being criticized several times, I was afraid to sing in front of people. After the Lord found me in 1989, not only could I freely sing among our congregation and small groups, a year later I joined our church’s choir. By the grace of God, someone told me that everyone was welcome to sing the Hellelujah chorus in our Christmas service. I was reassured that “the only qualification is a willing heart to learn.” I went from participating in one event to singing week after week in the choir for a few years with great joy and satisfaction. Unfortunately, I had to leave the adult choir ministry due to schedule conflict after I started teaching children’s Sunday School.

Unexpectedly, I had the opportunity to join the Thursday practice of CCCMIW choir in September 2001 with brothers and sisters from all over the Bay Area. Dr. Richard Lin is a servant of the Lord by example and exhortation. “We are offering worship not performance. Song leading is not preaching. And our purpose of praise and worship is to lead people to the throne of God.” In the next few years I also participated in his summer camps to improve my singing and learn how to lead singspiration and select hymns and praise songs that match the sermons. I always remember worship as a heart issue, even when we are singing and moving with children. Worship is to magnify the Lord. The hearts of song leaders need to be moved first before they can bring others to receive, enjoy, and feel the presence of our Lord.

I only sing, but my son also plays the cello, guitar, drums and piano. As a teenager, he started to lead youth worship while I was leading children’s worship. When my husband started his pastoral ministry in a small church, I began to lead singspiration in Mandarin. A few years later, when our congregation was able to worship in the morning at the same time with our hosting church, I took the American-born Chinese middle and high school students to participate in the English church's worship. For about a year and a half, we praised God together with believers of other ethnicities. Nobody guessed I was a grandmother because I hanged out so much with young people.

A Life of Worshipping God

So many years have passed. Yet the joy of singing in the hospital with my son is still in my heart. More than two thousand years ago, the Lord Jesus said to the Samaritan woman by the well, “Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem … Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks” (John 4:21-23).

Singing the entire "Messiah" in Mandarin with my son is unforgettable.

“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise!” May I be a worshipper of God all my life. May all the glory and praise forever and ever unto Him!

I share this from my heart with gratitude. It’s never too late to start creating those special moments with people you love.

Do you have a special experience with your child or want me to pray for you? If you write me by midnight (PST) Thursday, June 14th, your name will be entered into a drawing to win a zero-cost 30-minute phone coaching session on couples or parent-child relationship.

The chinese article above could be found at http://winnischiang.blogspot.com/2011_03_01_archive.html

Happy Mother’s Day!

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Winnis Chiang, LMFT and Founder of ParentingABC.com, specializes in helping Mandarin- and Cantonese-speaking high-tech Christian parents to get along with, enjoy, influence and equip their American-born Chinese children.