Get Your Children Out of Hopelessness and Helplessness

Don’t Underestimate Young People

Not too long ago, I received an e-mail, “…I am a student from such and such high school. I have intentions of going into the psychology field. I am contacting you to find out if it is possible for you to guest speak in my psychology class at school regarding family psychology. Please let me know if this is possible.”

I wrote back that speaking as a guest was possible as long as we scheduled in advance. I also asked some questions to better understand the person and the situation. We wrote back and forth. Finally I gave the talk. Here is a thank you note I received afterwards.

“It was an honor for you to come and speak in my class. I loved how you made connections with everyday life which made me very interested and got me thinking about my own personal life and relations. I would like to thank you again. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.”

Who said teenagers could not do anything right? Who said they could not be responsible, responsive and respectful? I am so proud of this young person!

There is a Time for Everything

Although I studied Electrical Engineering and Computer Science, one of my childhood dreams was to write and publish books. Since my arrival to the United States as a foreign student in 1973, I hardly wrote in Chinese (other than to my family in Hong Kong). Since I became a Christian in 1989, I have written here and there, mostly testimonies of my faith, new life, mission trips, and ministries for the “Homestead” magazine of our church.

In 1995, I left my high tech career to spend more time with our son. He was twelve year old at that time and I wanted to build closer relationship with him before he left home for college. That summer, I had a chance to listen to Rev. Edwin Su who shared his calling to Christian writing ministry. At the end, I asked him to autograph a book (subtitled “Practical Guide for Christian Writers”) that he co-authored. Using the title of his book, Rev. Su wrote “Sister Winnis, You Can Write for the Lord!”

That same year, I started attending seminary to study counseling. I was busy with our son, house work, church volunteering, and lots of homework assignments. After graduation in 1998, I counseled children and teenagers in public schools as an intern for a community agency while serving full-time as children’s minister in my home church.

Although I attended a writing camp (offered by Cosmic Light) in 2000, I never wrote Chinese articles beyond our church’s publications. Nevertheless, a seed was planted by one of the teachers. I remembered the feeling of hope when I heard a young author named Teresina Chen said, “If a young foreign student like me can write and publish fictions, if I can start writing in Chinese by looking up every word from the dictionary, so can you!”

I completed my 3000 hours of internship, passed my written and oral exam, and became a licensed marriage and family therapist in 2003. I founded “Parenting ABC” in 2005 and started publishing e-mail newsletters. What language did I use? English of course! I have been using it every day for more than thirty years in the United States!

Since I also lead workshops and give talks in Mandarin and Cantonese, more and more readers asked, “When are you going to write these articles in Chinese?” I had many reasons, but deep down inside I was afraid that my Chinese was not good enough.

When I heard about annual Writing Camps offered by Kingdom Resources for Christ (KRC) in Pennsylvania, I wished I could go and learn the basics. But year after year, something more important demanded my attention and I put my dream aside.

Earlier this year, I was considering the camp in July. After much praying, I decided it was more important at this stage of my life to spend time with my sister (who lives in Texas) and my brother (who lives in the East Coast). We had not seen each other for almost two years. A mini reunion was called for to celebrate my sister’s birthday with her family. I prayed, “Lord, it would be so nice if those writing camps are held in California” and was filled with peace. On May 20, my husband James purchased ticket for me to visit Texas in June.

Dreams Do Come True In His Time

The next evening, James handed me an envelope. “For me?” I was puzzled since it was addressed to the church from Genesis Chinese Writing Ministry Institute (GCWMI), an organization I never heard of. Inside was a brochure of a Chinese writing camp that looked familiar. I took out the KRC brochure and compared the two. The same courses taught by the same teachers would be offered in Los Angeles in August! I could not believe my eyes!

Quickly I checked my calendar. “Oh. No.”

Hearing the disappointment in my voice, James asked, “What’s the matter?”

“I am scheduled to lead a workshop at Rev. Wong’s church in the afternoon on August 1. I can’t go to LA!”

I could not understand why God opened door and closed it so fast. I prayed with James and pondered on options.

The next day, on May 22, I gathered my courage and e-mailed the contact person, “I’m really interested … How far is the campus from LAX? … What time do we have to arrive? … May I arrive on the next day?”

The reply came shortly, “Malibu is pretty close to LAX. We can have someone pick you up. Arriving late on August 1 should be okay.”

I wrote more questions but there was no answer. I called Rev. Wong, “Is there any possibility of changing the date of my workshop or start earlier?”

I heard hesitation in her voice, “Many brothers and sisters are traveling in the summer at different times. They only came up with those two dates for your two workshops. Besides, we also need to arrange baby sitting and children’s program. It would be really hard.”

I thanked her, hanged up, and tried to calm myself by accepting the situation.

After the Memorial Day long weekend, I received two e-mails. Brother Jonathan apologized for not being able to reply earlier because he was out-of-town. The second e-mail is from Teacher Teresina Chen.

“Usually on the first night … it is a chance to tune in our hearts and prepare for the journey of writing for the rest of session. It would also be a chance to get to know the teachers, the environment and our classmates. … Even you would need to miss the open ceremony, yet, under the circumstance, it should be OK without huge loss. Pastor Su's class is such a big feast ...”

I was thrilled. I signed up for the camp while James booked my flight. So, on the first day of August, after leading my workshop “Discipline in Love,” James took me to SFO airport which was only 15 minutes away. My flight was delayed but I was picked up at LAX and driven to Malibu by a kind brother.

To make the long story short, I attended two courses (W100 on writing, W220 on editing) taught by Rev. Andrew Su who is the brother of Rev. Edwin Su. After fourteen years, I got autograph of the other author. Teacher Andrew Su wrote, “Of Course You Can Write for the Lord” underneath his brother’s signature.

Now I know I can write in Chinese for the Lord with His help! Our Great Shepherd supplies all our needs. After the camp, I immediately started practicing what I learned. I completed my assignments and submitted articles to various publications. Thanks to the previewing and correction of Teacher Su, I have already published THREE articles in Chinese! I am so grateful of what the Lord has done for me! You may check out my Chinese articles on this link: http://parentingabcnewsletterinchinese.blogspot.com

For your info, the basic writing class W100 will be offered in Northern California next January. I have placed a link to the GCWMI website in my reflection of the writing camp. Have the Lord called you to write? Don’t let your fear and self doubt stop you. If I can do it with His help, so can you!

Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart

I know you might be going through very tough times. Grieving great losses, some of you might be feeling hopeless and helpless. That’s how I felt more than twenty years ago. In my midlife crisis, I felt stuck in a marriage that did not satisfy my deepest needs and yearnings. At that time, “the bird was much bigger than the mountain” and I found life without meaning and purpose. I had no hope and did not know where to get help. By God’s grace, James and I are now helping people rebuild relationships with God, self and others. And we are thoroughly enjoying the loving connection with our son and his family. God can also turn bad into good for you as He has done repeatedly in history.

“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever.” (1 Chronicles 16:34, Psalm 106:1, 107:1, 118:1, 29, 136:1)

Last year at Thanksgiving, I wrote about giving thanks even in tough times and included a checklist for reflection and sharing:

What ONE biggest gift (tangible or intangible) have you received this year?
What TWO things changed your life this year?
What THREE incidents help you grow in your faith this year?
What FOUR blessings in your home should you thank God for?
What FIVE happy experiences have you had?
What SIX things created by God are things that we cannot live without?
Who are SEVEN people, outside of your home, for whom you are most thankful?

Would you join me to count blessings (no matter how few and how small) and give thanks? Pray for our next generation who desperately needs hope and help. By giving thanks to God with a grateful heart, we demonstrate to our children and teenagers that human beings can face ups and downs of life with the power of love and healthy connection.

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Reprinting these Articles

You can use the articles from [Parenting ABC] as long as you include a complete attribution and, whenever possible, a live link to our website. Please notify Winnis where and when the material will appear. The attribution should include this information:

Winnis Chiang, MA, MFT, Founder and Director of Parenting ABC, is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Fluent in Cantonese, Mandarin and English, she specializes in helping couples and parents of American Born Chinese. To find out more about her programs and services, visit www.parentingabc.com or call 925-806-8600.