Being Flexible to Enjoy Life

January 2012 was almost over. While I felt disappointed at myself for not publishing this newsletter sooner, I knew I tried my best in the last few weeks with many things happening. For examples:

(1) Our son and his family is back from Africa for a visit.

(2) Christmas, New Year, Birthdays, Chinese New Year celebrations with families, friends, fellowships and churches.

(3) Attending Memorial service for the sister who fought lung cancer for years.

(4) James started his pastorate at a new church on New Year Day.

(5) James was sick for 1 day, a week later I was sick for 4 days.

(6) James and I traveled to Cologne, Germany to serve a church there.

For a moment, I thought about giving up my deadline. My old habits of perfectionism and procrasination kicked in, but I replaced them with new habits I developed from the CHANGE model I teach clients from Dr. David Olson's PREPARE/ENRICH (pre-)marital counseling.

Commit yourself to a special goal.

Habits ... break old and start new habits.

Action ... take one step at a time.

Never give up ... lapses might occur

Goal-oriented ... focus on the positive

Evaluate and reward yourself.

I reminded myself that my goal is to give some practical tips on relating to self, others, and God every month. It does not have to be perfect and extensive. I need to change my habits and take action. Just write a short newsletter. As I focused, I felt more relax and words came out.

My plan changed many times since December 15, 2011. During our Thursday night Skype session, our son told us they might received his residence visa in two days. If so, they could visit us while attending some business matters.

Although I did not want to build up false hope, I started clearing space and cleaning the house the next morning.

On Saturday morning, they called. Indeed God gave them grace to get a visa, to buy tickets, and fly back (with 12 hours notice). 30 hours later they arrived at SFO.

James dropped me off outside the baggage claim area. Eagerly I went in and located the carosal where their bags were to arrive. I stood by the escalators and watched. First, I saw my son, then I saw his wife standing behind, holding the baby boy in a pouch, but I did not see my granddaughter.

Puzzled, I walked to the landing place. There she was, standing on the other side of her Ba Ba, holding his hand. When the three-year-old saw me, she called out loudly, “Nai Nai, Nai Nai” and rushed into my arms as soon as she landed. After holding her for some time, I was handed my grandson, now a 25-pound baby.

Having them in the house caused me to have second thought about going to Germany to support the same church in Cologne where we served last summer. . But it was a commitment we made many months ago, and our new church had graciously endorsed James for traveling during his first week. I wished I could be in two places at the same time.

We celebrated Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with families. James preached at our new church and we shared meals together. That night, James started to throw up. I had to clean up the carpet and changed beddings in the middle of the night.

As I was cleaning, a similar incident came to mind. In 1994, I was pondering whether to accept the call to be a deaconess at our church. One night before the decision deadline, James and our son both threw up in the middle of the night. As I was running around taking care of them and cleaning things up, I asked God, “If I cannot even take care of one son, how could I take care of so many children in our church?” The answer came clearly through a verse I remembered, “My grace is sufficient for you…” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

God’s grace is always sufficient. I gave thanks and prayed. James recovered after one day. Our family attended the memorial service of our dear sister on the last day of the year. Then our whole family (grandchildren included) attended James’ first official worship service as the pastor of our new church on Sunday, January 1, 2012.

The night before, it was my turn of stomach flu. At one point, I had to go to the bathroom so often that I was sure I could not leave for Cologne on January 5. When James attended our church’s prayer meeting on Wednesday night, I was crying in bed, telling God that I really wanted to go. Then I got out of bed and asked my son and daughter-in-law to pray with me for the Lord’s will.

The next morning, our son drove us to the airport. The Lord gave us two pleasant surprises that day. We were welcomed into the frequent flyer lounge and we were upgraded to business class. I really felt like a princess!

Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." (James 4:13-15)

This letter might have typos and grammatical mistakes, but I’m going to send it out. I want to hold on to God’s love and grace instead of relying on myself. If you like reading Chinese, read my article on “Grace Awakening” at http://winnischiang.blogspot.com/2010/12/blog-post_08.html

Happy New Year!

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Winnis Chiang, LMFT and Founder of ParentingABC.com, specializes in helping Mandarin- and Cantonese-speaking high-tech Christian parents to get along with, enjoy, influence and equip their American-born Chinese children.