When Jeremy Lin Made the TIME 100 List

Jeremy Lin made the list. Our own Christian American Born Chinese is now one of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2012 according to editors of TIME magazine. Whether you agree with the list, whether you voted for Jeremy’s inclusion or not, it is history to tell your friends!

Let us congratulate Jeremy and his family and give glory to God because it is 100% the work of God, and it is 100% of Jeremy’s effort.

Here is what Arne Duncan, the U.S. Secretary of Education, wrote in the TIME 100 issue about Jeremy Lin, Point Guard.

“Jeremy Lin's story is a great lesson for kids everywhere because it debunks and defangs so many of the prejudices and stereotypes that unfairly hold children back. He's dispelled the idea that Asian-American guards somehow couldn't hack it in the NBA — and that being a world-class athlete on the court is somehow at odds with being an excellent student off the court.

Contrary to what you might read, Jeremy, 23, is no overnight sensation. In fact, he achieved success the old-fashioned way: he earned it. He worked hard and stayed humble. He lives the right way; he plays the right way.

It's great to see good values rewarded in professional sports because that's not always the case. Often it's the bling, the glam, the individual that gets celebrated — not the team and working together to advance a goal bigger than oneself. Jeremy cares only about one thing — winning. And I don't care whether you are an Asian-American kid, white, black or Hispanic, Jeremy's story tells you that if you show grit, discipline and integrity, you too can get an opportunity to overcome the odds.”

Duncan has many good points, but I am still disappointed at his failure to mention miracle and God that Jeremy himeself so often talked about. Nevertheless, I accept that each person has his/her own perspective and opinion.

How about you? How do you feel about Jeremy’s success? What do you think? How has all these news affected you and your relationship with your child?

Since February, I have heard many stories from OBC and ABC. Some see Jeremy as an inspiration, saying, “If he can do it, so can I (or my child). There is hope.” Others feel additional pressure and lamented, “This is unreal. My parents now want me to go to Harvard AND play basketball in the NBA. I just want to give up” or “My child is just lazy. I am helpless. Sigh.”

I believe there are great lessons for us to learn as parents and children. Jeremy always loves playing basketball and he knows very well that it is God who made him tall and strong, and gave him opportunities. He sets priority and focuses on living his life by the grace and timing of God. His parents encourage and help as much as they could, instilling their values and convinction. Even though things did not always make sense, Jeremy continued to work hard towards his goal and he was ready to seize opportunities.

Everything is in God’s control. Yet we have to do our part. For example, Queen Esther risked her life when challenged by her uncle, “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14)

Interestingly, when Tim Tebow (24), Quarterback made the list, it is Lin who wrote the essay in TIME 100 on his fellow Christian athlete. I find the following essay pretty revealing about Jeremy's own value system and belief.

“Watching Tim Tebow play football, you can observe many things about his character. You see his fierce competitiveness, his strong work ethic and how he is a leader that his teammates trust and respect.

But it is the qualities that Tim, 24, embodies in his life off the field that truly set him apart. He is unashamed of his convictions and faith, and he lives a life that consistently reflects his values, day in and day out. Through his foundation, he constantly reaches out to people and communities in need of hope. He realizes what he has been blessed with and seeks to help those who are worse off. As athletes, we pour our hearts into winning games. Tim is a reminder that life is about much more than that.”

When Jeremy made the list, I feel proud because he has lived out his potential as a follower of Christ. Even though he faces temptation and has struggles and weaknesses like the rest of us, Jeremy has returned to Christ. I need to look beyond the ups and downs of daily life and trust God moment by moment.

Since I asked you to vote for Jeremy, I want to share my excitement and gratefulness with you. Please continue to pray for Lin, Tebow, and other young people to follow Christ. When we are in the world but not of the world, we are being salt and light of this world.

Please give me feedback by filling in the blanks below.

When Jeremy Lin Made the 2012 TIME 100 List,

I feel __________________________________,

I think _________________________________,

I need _________________________________,

And I am going to do ______________________

and say ________________________________

to my child (or spouse) so that I can help him/her constructively

instead of tearing him/her apart destructively.

If you write me by midnight (PST) Thursday, May 10th, your name will be entered into a drawing to win a zero-cost 30-minute phone coaching session on couples or parent-child relationship.

May God bless you and your family!

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Want to reprint this article? No problem! Just make sure you include a complete attribution and, whenever possible, a live link to our website. Please notify Winnis where and when the material will appear. The attribution should include this information:

Winnis Chiang, LMFT and Founder of ParentingABC.com, specializes in helping Mandarin- and Cantonese-speaking high-tech Christian parents to get along with, enjoy, influence and equip their American-born Chinese children.

Communicate with Your Child Constructively

Thank you for your overwhelming responses to special parenting coaching offer last month. The time period is officially closed. So unless you have already scheduled time with me, you have to watch for future opportunities.

Parents are unique and so are their children. But there are common areas of concerns that parents can do something about. One of such areas is communication.

You probably have heard the saying that “Nobody cares about what you say unless they know you care.”

Parents who love their kids are devastated when preteens and teenagers yelled, “You don’t care!” when you know deep down in your heart that you care about them, sometimes even more than your spouse and yourself!

If you frequently get that comments from your child, no matter how old they are, pause, take a deep breath, and take some time to reflect on what is going on.

Have they been complaining about you nagging them, being angry and critical of them, not listening to them, or not believing in them? If you have the tendency of reasoning with them but getting nowhere, and if you fear that your relationship is going down the drain, restore your hope by checking whether you could listen to your child better so that they will talk.

The Bible says, "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).

Mignon McLaughlin, journalist once said, "We hear only half of what is said to us, understand only half of that, believe only half of that, and remember only half of that."

When our minds are distracted (e.g. "hey, what is there for lunch?") or we are preparing for a comeback (e.g. "no no no, you get it wrong!"), we are at best half listening. Even worse, we interrupt the other person in mid sentence. In frustration, they interrupt us back hoping their points can be understood. And the vicious cycle continues.

When not listened to by their parents, children gradually lose their desires to talk. Some of them get angry and yell back in power struggles; others hold everything inside and become more and more depressed, withdrawn and isolated. Either ways, they have given up talking with parents. Communication channels are broken.

Many parent-child relationships will improve when parents start listening to the thoughts, feelings, needs and dreams of their child. Two years ago, the “Family Keepers” magazine published my article on the subject from a teenager’s perspective. Please read the Chinese version at http://winnischiang.blogspot.com/2010/04/blog-post_4805.html

If you feel brave enough, invite your teenager to comment on the English version of the article entitled “Mom and Dad, Please Listen to Me!” below as a conversation starter. I’d love to hear what they say.

Hey Mom and Dad,

I hate to admit, but you may call me a person with “a fierce demeanor but faint of heart.” Sure, I’d like to be cool, but I do care about you! As a teenager whose parents are going through midlife crisis, I have a lot to learn, but so do you!

1. Please remember this period of my “rebellion” is my time of searching for identity. I am learning to express my feelings and thoughts, not trying to sing a different tune. Don’t forget that I have to live independently and face the world by myself in a few years.

2. Whether you intend to encourage or discipline me, please be patient and treat me with kindness. I don’t need you to stay with me all the time, but I still hope that you would spend more time to understand me.

3. Trust me! By doing so, you empower me with love because I need your compassion, acceptance, respect and empathy. I need to know that as I grow, you are more at ease with me and are willing to let go.

4. Please don’t be angry with me for too long and don’t limit my freedom too much. You have your jobs, your hobbies, and your friends, but you are the only dad (or mom) I have.

5. Please talk with me without lecturing me, and listen to me with full attention. Even when we don’t understand each other, I will still feel your willingness to spend time to understand me, accept me, honestly address my doubts, and talk about sensitive subjects with me.

6. I will forever remember how you treat me and pray for me.

7. Before you curse or even hit me, please remember that I have enough strength to revenge even though I may choose not to.

8. Before you scold me and call me disobedient, uncooperative, stubborn, or lazy, please try to figure out whether something else is bothering me. I could be all stressed out due to peer pressure! May be I am not receiving the affirmation, acceptance, encouragement and care I need. I could be too tired, haven’t taken any break for quite some time due to homework and extra curriculum activities. My heart could have grown stiff because of growing pains and fears. Of course, sometimes I don’t know how to express myself or am affected by hormonal change.

9. Instead of rejecting me when I make mistakes, please understand, accept, and support me. Haven’t you experienced failures too? Please don’t deny your mistakes and failures. Your integrity and courage to change are my best examples.

10. As I am struggling through this difficult process of becoming an adult, I have to face setbacks and defeats. Your love for me will make it easier for me to face these teenage storms. Don’t ever forget that I love you, and that you have promised to love me all your life.

Using this article as a conversation starter, share how you feel and what you think about “communication” with each other. Remember to listen to your teenager with interest and curiosity so that they feel understood and accepted! Share your experience and feedback with me. Thanks!

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Want to reprint this article? No problem! Just make sure you include a complete attribution and, whenever possible, a live link to our website. Please notify Winnis where and when the material will appear. The attribution should include this information:

Winnis Chiang, LMFT and Founder of ParentingABC.com, specializes in helping Mandarin- and Cantonese-speaking high-tech Christian parents to get along with, enjoy, influence and equip their American-born Chinese children.

Vote for Jeremy Lin and Get Copy of Kindle Book Today at No Cost

Thanks to all of you who responded to my last message about getting a zero cost 30-minute coaching session on your most important parenting issues.

I'm going through the list of responders and will get back to you one by one as soon as possible. Please be patient with me since many people responded and I still have to attend to other
responsibilities.

If you don't know what I am talking about, look for a message sent from me with "[Parenting ABC] Enjoy Your Child or Do Something About It" in the subject line.

I am writing to let you know about two opportunities.

I have received e-mails about getting a free kindle e-book titled "Jeremy Lin: Faith, Joy, and Basketball" by Ted Kluck. The offer seems to be only valid for TODAY (4/2/12) so check
what the page says.

I haven't read the book yet but if you are interested in getting this book without cost before the offer expires today, go to http://www.amazon.com/Jeremy-Lin-Faith-Basketball-ebook/dp/B007P3QV5I/ref=cm_sw_em_r_ask_m0TSD.1QYQJ0F_tt

If the above link does not work, go to Amazon.com Kindle Store and search for Jeremy Lin Faith Joy and Basketball.

Other e-mails I received are about voting for Jeremy Lin in "The 2012 TIME Magazine 100 Poll" for people to cast your votes for the leaders, artists, innovators, icons and heroes you think
are the most influential people in the world.

Official voting ends on Friday, April 6, and the poll winner will be included in the TIME 100 issue. The complete TIME 100 list will be chosen by editors and revealed on TIME.com on Tuesday, April 17.

Voting has to be done before 4/6/2012. Go to Jeremy's page below, check "Definitely" when asked whether he should be included, and click summit.

http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2107952_2107953_2109622,00.html